Is "No" the most important word for clergy?

Today unexpectedly included a hasty visit to a brother priest at the request of one of the senior staff team in his Diocese.

I was aware that life and ministry had not been good for M during the last year, but not until he talked did I realise just how bad for both him and his family. Hopefully the acknowledgement of the need for outside help and support will mean that a more healthy and balanced life will not prove illusive.

The "joy" of Holy Week has bought matters to ahead, and the week's holiday since was sufficiently restful and reflective to highlight just how desperate the situation is.

Consequently Monday was a significant/crisis day, and a chance meeting in a local shopping centre with the local RC priest enabled a telephone call for help to made. The latter had the wisdom to accompany M home to ensure that the call was actually made rather than just promised.

While acknowledging that there may not be such a thing as "a single main cause" (which is perhaps an elusive ideal in a complex situation) I nevertheless would say that the "inability to say no" has contributed more than anything else to M's pain. 

When I looked through his diary and heard of the pastoral burden that he is carrying it screamed "too much".But when you minister on your own ( and most Anglican priests do), when you gain great vocational satisfaction from what you do, when people need you and value what you have to offer - who is there, (that really understands what that feels like), who can say "enough is enough".

So perhaps if you care for your local priest/minister, when you next ask "how are things are going", you might also ask what s/he has "said no to" recently.

Comments

[Kathryn]

Tom...could you arrange for this post to appear at the head of your blog every few months? I have a feeling it might come in handy for more than one of us...

[Tim]

Makes me think:
1. formal "clergy support" is less good at recognising the cost of a "successful and fruitful ministry" - does it really take and ecumenical colleague to note the danger signs
2. wish my Diocese would involve genuine outsiders (from another Diocese) in this kind of situation
3. its a great post which balances insight with the demands of confidentiality
4. I wonder whether I would have the confidence to should show you my diary - plus its what is NOT written down which takes its toll.

Blessings and thanks
Tim

[Tom Allen]

Thanks for the comments - and email had alerted me to the fact that the Government has made clergy conditions of service one of its priority areas of employment practice - you can read the interim DTI report at:
http://www.ecdti.co.uk/cgibin/perlcon.pl.#

Apparently the Church of England has committed itself nationally to meeting the requirements, it will be interesting to see how this feeds down to the 43 Diocese which is where the real practice happens.

Can I make clear that my specific post was not intended as a critcism of the Senior Staff team involved - my involvement demonstrates an appropriate understanding of what is required.